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- "How do I listen to others? As if everyone were my Master speaking to me his cherished last words." ~ Hafiz
Tag Archives: Cooperation
Supporting Autonomy Through Social Strcuture
Social Structure Social structure constantly shapes and directs our lives. For most of us, it is not something that we pay much attention to or that we are consciously aware of. The following experience and insight from living on a family homestead and community with kids and parents living and working in the same space together, helped me to see how social structure might be an important element in design … Continue reading
Freedom in Community (part 5 in body space/freedom of movement series)
Community Can Increase Autonomy Sidney and Ana live in a rural environment in which they are surrounded by a community of caring people that look out for them and help them meet their needs. As I ponder the limited scope of children’s movement in current society, I have thought about what sorts of structures, social practices and designs might help to increase the mobility and autonomy of young people. One … Continue reading
Teaching Obediance to Authority or Culitvating Inner Trust and Self-determination?
One of the worst things about arbitrary authority is it makes us lose our trust in natural authority- people who know what they are doing and could share a lot of wisdom with us. When they make you obey the cruel and unreasonable [authority] they steal your desire to learn from [or listen to] the kind and reasonable [authority]” (Grace Llewellyn, The Teenage Liberation Handbook.) If we truly take the … Continue reading
What are kids needs underneath their behavior?
Listening for What Kids Really Need So how do we really listen to what kids are needing, not just at the surface but at the deeper levels of their being? If, as Marshall Rosenberg and Compassionate Communication (NVC) assert, human behavior is really an expression of met or un-met needs and all anyone is ever doing is trying to meet their needs, what is a person’s behavior really saying and … Continue reading
Making Presence a Priority
Shifting Priorities Not only being in kids’ lives, but fostering a certain quality of relationship is very important. If we want to make a real difference in kids’ lives, then not only our presence, but the quality of that presence can be extremely important. How do we make a cultural shift to the point where taking care of children and giving them full attention, the quality of our presence in … Continue reading
Posted in A new Paradigm for childhood
Tagged child rearing, childhood, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Cooperation, healing, Louise Dietzel, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, relationship building, Thomas Gordon, win-win
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Cultivating Consideration
How do we cultivate in children a sense of care or consideration for others, a sense of responsibility and participation in the human community? While accountability and responsibility are important this does not mean that we use authoritarian power and punishment to “teach” someone a lesson. Like in any caring relationship, the goal should be toward cooperation and mutual respect, and through this care, a movement toward consideration and meeting … Continue reading
Let kids rule the school
As part of my blog, I want to include stories about kids taking responsibility for and capably running their own lives, of achieving things on their own without the direct involvement and design of adults and showing themselves capable of things we so often believe they can’t do or must learn from adults first; This article about high school kids directing their own learning is one such example: Op-Ed Contributor … Continue reading
Posted in Empowered Kids
Tagged Autonomy, chlid empowerment, Cooperation, equality, Self-determination, self-directed learning
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Costs and limitations of Power-Over
Power Over? Living in the Old Paradigm, (see first blog post) we have come to use manipulation, coercion and force to get children to do our bidding. The Old Paradigm, works on a system of punishment and rewards, of absolutes, of “good” and “bad”. We fail to recognize that children have their own needs and interests separable from adults, that they are people in their own right, and are not … Continue reading
Creating a New Paradigm For Childhood:
I have come to believe that the current social construction of childhood puts children in a position of subordination to adult authority in ways that are both oppressive and limiting. It teaches fear of and obedience to external authority rather than fostering freedom and promoting the capacity for independent thinking, mutual respect and self-responsibility. Given this, how can we construct childhood in a way that is not controlling or oppressive; … Continue reading