- "How do I listen to others? As if everyone were my Master speaking to me his cherished last words." ~ Hafiz
Tag Archives: Parent-child relationships
Exploring Violence and Nonviolence in Communication
What does Nonviolence mean to you? We opened our first class of Communication From the Inside Out with this question. As we delved into the exploration of Violence and Nonviolence we discovered that violence and the roots of violence is far more complex and complicated than we ever would have imagined. Recognizing violence in all of it’s forms Most people think of violence as physical harm, brutality and the like, in which most of us … Continue reading
Posted in A new Paradigm for childhood, NVC, Transformation
Tagged Adult-child Relationships, Arun Gandhi, child Empowerment, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Consciousness, empowerment, equality, freedom, Marshall Rosenberg, nonviolence, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, respect, self-help
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Reconstructing Adult/Child Relationships- part 1 of two
Reconstructing Adult/Child Relationships Much of the way our relationships with children are currently constructed is based on adult authority and adults acting upon children rather than sharing power and holding mutual respect with them. The labels of “adult” and “child” so often become barriers to connection, on a mutual or horizontal level, where people who find interest in each other and benefit from the company of the other engaged in freely chosen and mutually beneficial … Continue reading
Kids Trusting Themselves
Kids Trusting Themselves Thinking children incompetent or not realizing just how capable they actually are, perhaps because we have provided them little opportunity to demonstrate their capabilities, keeps us managing their lives rather than trusting them to make decisions and be responsible for themselves. Such acts foster a relationship of dependence and enforce inequality and inability rather than bring children into parity. By constantly making decisions for kids and managing their lives we are also … Continue reading
Supporting Autonomy Through Social Strcuture
Social Structure Social structure constantly shapes and directs our lives. For most of us, it is not something that we pay much attention to or that we are consciously aware of. The following experience and insight from living on a family homestead and community with kids and parents living and working in the same space together, helped me to see how social structure might be an important element in design and of increasing kids’ autonomy: … Continue reading
From Control, to Freedom and Empowerment/part 3 in series on body space/movement
How we (adults, parents, adult culture and society) control kids bodies/movement and a New Vision of Respect and Empowerment I decided to include this list as part of my series on body space/freedom of movement, as I think it is useful to explore these particular areas and examples and to explore a new vision for how things could be. Control of physical movements-curfews for one, where kids can or can’t go. Forcing kids to sit … Continue reading
Children navigating their sex lives- Part 2 in series on body space/freedom of movement
Children’s Sex Lives (part two in series on body space/freedom of movement for part 1, click HERE) Both on the subject of allowing children to trust themselves and their bodies and on the task of bringing children into full parity rather than enforcing inequality through limiting, I have come to examine our ideas around children and sex. We make many assumptions and justifications regarding our need to control and limit children in this area; but … Continue reading
Teaching Obediance to Authority or Culitvating Inner Trust and Self-determination?
One of the worst things about arbitrary authority is it makes us lose our trust in natural authority- people who know what they are doing and could share a lot of wisdom with us. When they make you obey the cruel and unreasonable [authority] they steal your desire to learn from [or listen to] the kind and reasonable [authority]” (Grace Llewellyn, The Teenage Liberation Handbook.) If we truly take the time to listen and be … Continue reading
What are kids needs underneath their behavior?
Listening for What Kids Really Need So how do we really listen to what kids are needing, not just at the surface but at the deeper levels of their being? If, as Marshall Rosenberg and Compassionate Communication (NVC) assert, human behavior is really an expression of met or un-met needs and all anyone is ever doing is trying to meet their needs, what is a person’s behavior really saying and communicating? I am seeking to … Continue reading
Making Presence a Priority
Shifting Priorities Not only being in kids’ lives, but fostering a certain quality of relationship is very important. If we want to make a real difference in kids’ lives, then not only our presence, but the quality of that presence can be extremely important. How do we make a cultural shift to the point where taking care of children and giving them full attention, the quality of our presence in their lives, is just as … Continue reading
Posted in A new Paradigm for childhood
Tagged child rearing, childhood, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Cooperation, healing, Louise Dietzel, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, relationship building, Thomas Gordon, win-win
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Cultivating Consideration
How do we cultivate in children a sense of care or consideration for others, a sense of responsibility and participation in the human community? While accountability and responsibility are important this does not mean that we use authoritarian power and punishment to “teach” someone a lesson. Like in any caring relationship, the goal should be toward cooperation and mutual respect, and through this care, a movement toward consideration and meeting of everyone’s needs. Helping a … Continue reading