- "How do I listen to others? As if everyone were my Master speaking to me his cherished last words." ~ Hafiz
Tag Archives: Parenting
Exploring Violence and Nonviolence in Communication
What does Nonviolence mean to you? We opened our first class of Communication From the Inside Out with this question. As we delved into the exploration of Violence and Nonviolence we discovered that violence and the roots of violence is far more complex and complicated than we ever would have imagined. Recognizing violence in all of it’s forms Most people think of violence as physical harm, brutality and the like, in which most of us … Continue reading
Posted in A new Paradigm for childhood, NVC, Transformation
Tagged Adult-child Relationships, Arun Gandhi, child Empowerment, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Consciousness, empowerment, equality, freedom, Marshall Rosenberg, nonviolence, Nonviolent Communication, NVC, Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, respect, self-help
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Supporting Autonomy Through Social Strcuture
Social Structure Social structure constantly shapes and directs our lives. For most of us, it is not something that we pay much attention to or that we are consciously aware of. The following experience and insight from living on a family homestead and community with kids and parents living and working in the same space together, helped me to see how social structure might be an important element in design and of increasing kids’ autonomy: … Continue reading
Teaching Obediance to Authority or Culitvating Inner Trust and Self-determination?
One of the worst things about arbitrary authority is it makes us lose our trust in natural authority- people who know what they are doing and could share a lot of wisdom with us. When they make you obey the cruel and unreasonable [authority] they steal your desire to learn from [or listen to] the kind and reasonable [authority]” (Grace Llewellyn, The Teenage Liberation Handbook.) If we truly take the time to listen and be … Continue reading
What are kids needs underneath their behavior?
Listening for What Kids Really Need So how do we really listen to what kids are needing, not just at the surface but at the deeper levels of their being? If, as Marshall Rosenberg and Compassionate Communication (NVC) assert, human behavior is really an expression of met or un-met needs and all anyone is ever doing is trying to meet their needs, what is a person’s behavior really saying and communicating? I am seeking to … Continue reading
Making Presence a Priority
Shifting Priorities Not only being in kids’ lives, but fostering a certain quality of relationship is very important. If we want to make a real difference in kids’ lives, then not only our presence, but the quality of that presence can be extremely important. How do we make a cultural shift to the point where taking care of children and giving them full attention, the quality of our presence in their lives, is just as … Continue reading
Posted in A new Paradigm for childhood
Tagged child rearing, childhood, communication skills, Compassionate Communication, connection, Cooperation, healing, Louise Dietzel, Marshall Rosenberg, Nonviolent Communication, P.E.T., Parent-child relationships, Parenting, Power with, relationship building, Thomas Gordon, win-win
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Say You’re Sorry?
Most parents want their children to grow up to be considerate of others and to be contributing members of society and their community but, so often, parents attempt to achieve this end through methods of manipulation and coercion. Such methods not only fail to cultivate in the child the desired feeling of care or compassion, but have other detrimental and perhaps opposite affects on the child. While we can sometimes get people to change their … Continue reading
Costs and limitations of Power-Over
Power Over? Living in the Old Paradigm, (see first blog post) we have come to use manipulation, coercion and force to get children to do our bidding. The Old Paradigm, works on a system of punishment and rewards, of absolutes, of “good” and “bad”. We fail to recognize that children have their own needs and interests separable from adults, that they are people in their own right, and are not solely to be acted upon. … Continue reading
Creating a New Paradigm For Childhood:
I have come to believe that the current social construction of childhood puts children in a position of subordination to adult authority in ways that are both oppressive and limiting. It teaches fear of and obedience to external authority rather than fostering freedom and promoting the capacity for independent thinking, mutual respect and self-responsibility. Given this, how can we construct childhood in a way that is not controlling or oppressive; that gives children power over … Continue reading